The Man That Got Away
by fluffy pantoufle
Summary: One-shot; the musings of Julia Heartilly the night of her death. Pseudo-songfic drawing inspiration from a ballad made popular by Judy Garland. Really quite fitting for the FF8 songstress. :


"The Man That Got Away"

By: _**fluffy pantoufle**_

**A/N: **I have a confession to make. I always tried to deny it, but I can't… I'm a Judy Garland fan. Not a HUGE one, but I have to respect her body of work. My favorite song of hers is "The Man That Got Away" from _A Star Is Born, _and was probably the only bit of the movie that I liked. I really can't even put into words the emotional response that that song conjures up - I remember seeing it for the first time and being absolutely floored.

However, you must be wondering about the point I'm trying to make here. Well, I have to say that it reminds me so much of Julia Heartilly that I couldn't help but write a one-shot with the song in mind. This is the product of my Final Fantasy/Judy Garland love affair. Enjoy. ^_^

* * *

That night, if a passerby had only stopped and paid even the slightest bit of attention, he or she would have seen Gaia's most celebrated singer-songwriter only moments before her death. Funny how she was such a sensation, but on the night she passed on to the heavens not a soul recognized her sitting on the front steps of her mansion, knees drawn up underneath her chin and eyes to the stars.

Julia Heartilly found herself looking up at the sky more often in the past several weeks. She couldn't quite place it, but assumed that her increasing fascination with the clouds and the stars corresponded with the declining grip that she had on her own sense of reason. Her resiliency could have very well been based upon the fact that she refused to accept reality, refused to accept the distinct possibility that Laguna Loire wasn't coming back.

She tried to call her muse back to her arms, but to no avail. Her ballad had been all the rage for at least six months, playing on radio stations from Deling City to Esthar and perhaps even the Shumi Village, depending upon whether or not they even knew what a radio was. She scoffed. Yes, Julia did all that she could to bring her god of poetry, her Apollo, back to Deling and subsequently to her love.

_The stars have lost their glitter. _

The young singer tried to revel in her success, but it just didn't seem right to celebrate her lyrical adoration of Laguna with Fury. She had already felt guilty enough using his encouragement as a crutch to record her song. Now, it was as if "Eyes On Me" served as nothing more than a dagger which twisted itself a little bit deeper into Julia's heart every time she heard the ethereal piano chords that introduced the first, honest verse. She cursed herself every time she reminded herself that it was her own fingers that caressed those ivory keys.

That damned song was honest in a way that she just couldn't _be _anymore. How could she be _honest_? Honesty was a virtue of the past. Fury already suspected that the song was about Laguna. They hadn't been acquainted, but the General was in the room the night that Laguna finally mustered up the courage to speak to his enchantress, his Erato. Julia felt a smile creep to her lips when she remembered the tangible energy that swirled amongst herself and the patrons of the piano bar the night that Laguna took those first, tentative steps towards her stage. She could see the looks on the faces of Laguna's friends as they incredulously watched him utilize courage that no one knew he had.

She chuckled at the mental image of Laguna's leg cramping just as his lips began to form a singular and innocent utterance. Unfortunately, Julia could never relate to the fear that Laguna must have had that night. As a piano player, she usually functioned as nothing more than a prop in the lounge - a music box could have done her job just as well, if not better. He was one of the few that actually acknowledged her as a woman, not just one element of the ambiance that composed the dark, swanky-chic lounge.

_No more that all-time thrill…_

Julia couldn't even remember being nervous approaching Laguna herself! If anything, she could almost taste the thrill on her tongue of talking to someone that revered her. What an odd feeling it was, to be adored like that…

Now it was normal. Fans of her song flocked and followed her down the street like she was some kind of goddess. Of course, she found this all rather off-putting. Julia Heartilly was just a normal woman with an unrequited love. Nothing special about that. She could cope with the fame, although it wasn't exactly what she wanted. It was poor little Rinoa that she worried about - her daughter never asked for public scrutiny.

She would have traded all the success just for the approval of one man. If Hyne could only hear her wishes…

Tears began to well up in her eyes. This was nothing new.

_Never a new love will be the same. _

How did she end up with someone as stoic as Fury Caraway, anyway? Perhaps it was because she feared being attracted to someone that even remotely reminded her of Laguna. Julia wiped the tears from her eyes and laughed at how charmingly awkward that poor, hapless Galbadian soldier was the night she invited him to her hotel room. Boundless energy…from the bed, to the chair…he couldn't _relax _anywhere. Initially she was a little offended, wondering whether or on she looked like some sort of monster.

"_No, it's not that. It's just that I'm a big fan of yours, so I'm really kinda nervous, y'know?" _

She wish she knew. Well before her fame and here was this man, treating her as if she were selling out opera houses or concert halls. After several glasses of wine, Laguna shirked off his frightened guise and spoke a mile a minute, about absolutely every facet of life. Julia couldn't have gotten a word in edgewise if she tried…

But it was nice.

Her silence now was the result of simply running out of things to say to her husband, not because he spoke so often of his own accord but because he was just so damned guarded. Most days it was up to Rinoa to fill the voids that so often haunted their big, lonely mansion. The effervescence of her five-year-old personality brought them together, at least for a brief moment.

Laguna's face, his words inspired her most prized ballad - Fury's refusal to show emotion couldn't even rouse a single musical line.

_The road gets rougher,_

_It's lonelier and tougher,_

_With hope you burn up -_

_Tomorrow he may turn up_

_There's just no letup the live-long night and day!_

Perhaps Laguna wasn't Apollo. He was more like Hermes, Julia mused - a god of flight. It didn't surprise her in the slightest and assumed that in a way, Laguna was probably a dime a dozen. Galbadian soldiers couldn't be expected to ground themselves, no matter who was tickling the ivories. Sure, he claimed to have dreams of being a journalist, but she imagined him telling that to his commanding officer. _No, sir - I can't go on this mission. I simply refuse your orders, and for that I apologize. I'm trading in my gun for a pen. She's waiting for me…_

No. Far too eloquent for Laguna Loire.

"Mommy!" Rinoa stood in the doorway, dwarfed by the size and grandeur of the entrance. Her ebony hair was tied up into perky pigtails that stuck out on either side of her head. "Are you gonna come inside and sing for me? I wanna hear your song about the knight in shining armor again and Daddy doesn't know the words!"

Julia smiled, hoping that any remnant of tears had evaporated into the night air. "No, angel, he doesn't know that song. I wrote the words just for you."

Her daughter gave her a toothy grin. Ironic, seeing as she had lost one of her front teeth the previous week. "So are you gonna sing it, Mommy?"

The songstress stood and shook her head weakly. "Not right now, Rinoa. Mommy's going to take a drive around the block first…I need to clear my voice so it sounds pretty, OK? Just for you!"

"Mommy, you're so silly!" Rinoa turned and ran back into the house.

Julia took a good, long look at the sky one more time before following her daughter inside to get the keys to the car.

_Ever since this world began,_

_There is nothing sadder than,_

_A one-man woman, looking for_

_The man that got away. _


End file.
